That was one crazy night, dude
by puruto
Summary: CRACKfic. Ichigo attends Rukia's birthday party. c: Rated T for Alcohol mis-use, half-swearing, and plain cracky goodness.


" That was one crazy night, dude."

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Disclaimer: Bleach doesn't belong to me, but if it does, this would of so been one of the fillers. ;D

" Hey you there " belongs to Soulja Boy. :3

Enjoy. c;

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The rain splattered on the windows, creating a hypnotic _plit plat _rhythm. Ichigo, propped up on his elbows, stared almost _insanely_ at the object sitting on his desk, innocently.

_Though, 'innocent' is far from what you would describe it, _Ichigo thought.

Picking this dastardly object up by its corners, Ichigo gulped.

_There was no way in __heck__ he would go to something like this. No way._

Written in front in sophisticated and stylish calligraphy was a single word Ichigo loathed.

Invitation. 

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Even as a child, he had never really like parties, formal gatherings or anything like that. But _this, _he **had** to go. After all, it was Rukia's birthday party.

Dressed in casual clothes, Ichigo knocked hesitantly at the door of Urahara's shop, holding a skilfully wrapped gift. The door peculiarly slid open by itself, indicating for him to enter. Stepping in cautiously, Ichigo surveyed the scenario. From his well hidden spot by the entrance, he could see shinigamis and humans mingling in the open space of Urahara's store.

"Huh. I had no idea shinigamis had birthday parties." Ichigo said out loud, thinking that no one could hear him.

"They usually don't. Of course, unless said shinigami happens to have a friend that likes organizing parties, then the chance is slim. "

Ichigo turned around to search for the source of the voice, coming face to face with Rukia. Regaining his composure, he grinned as radiantly as he could, handing over his present.

"Happy Birthday, Rukia. "

Smiling in return, Rukia took the gift, said a swift thanks and beckoned Ichigo to the main attraction of the party. They walked over, pushed awkwardly close to each other as the already drunk shinigamis moshed to the heavy rock music. Clearing his throat, Ichigo excused himself.

Out of now where, a not so sober Renji danced his way over to Rukia, his face beet red.

"Oi! Rukiaaa~~ I wanna -hic- tell you a secret. Heheheheheh. "

Rukia gulped.

"Uhh, sure Renji. "

"Guess what? Me and some other guys replace -hic- alcohol instead of punch in that drink carrot head's holding. Isn't that just hillarrrioousss? ;D "

Rukia, her eyes wide open from shock, rushed over to Ichigo, leaving Renji to muse about donkeys to Iba.

_Who knew what might happen if that idiot got a sip of alcohol? _

Hastily, she dashed towards him, but it already was too late. Ichigo had already drunk the entire cup.

_Oh shi-_

Ichigo's eyes became droopy and his cheeks had a tint of red to them. He hiccupped his way to Rukia.

" Hey, you there. Hey, you there, you there.~"

He mumbled, giving Rukia a senseless smile.

"Hey there, Ichigo," Rukia whispered, backing away. "You might wanna go rest up somewhere else, you know. Perhaps somewhere far, far away?"

"What makes you say that? I'm fine! In fact, I'm better than fine! Let's danceeeee! "

Ichigo, dragging Rukia by the arm, pushed their way into the middle of the dance floor.

_Oh, please. Just let this be over quick._

Rukia desperately thought, dreading that something outrageous was going to happen.

Ichigo randomly moshed to the music, gripping her arm tighter, forcing her to imitate his movements. Then suddenly, he dropped dead on the floor, wasted. Rukia, stunned, stared at the unconscious Ichigo on the floor.

" Oh, look! Carrot head's…DEAD. Let's go draw on his face so when they bury him, he'll be all pretty!"

Iba yelped at Renji, both equally drunk. They wobbled over to Ichigo's body, grabbing pens from the tables.

* * *

When Ichigo woke up, a dim light surrounded him.

" Where, where am I?" he asked nobody in particular, forgetting last night's events.

He stood up, and walked towards the opposite door, when he got distracted by the most perplexing thing he had ever seen with his own eyes. It had bristly green hair, bloodshot eyes, missing eyebrows and black scribbles all over.

It was his face.

It seemed Iba and Renji not only doodled on his face, but also gave him a makeover. (:

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Let's just say that after Inoue saw the new Ichigo, she never hosted a party every again; especially one for the dead.

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Review? 8D

They make dinosaurs happy! ;o


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